Best Life Lessons I Learned From Mom

 

Writing a blog for my mom to commemorate her death became one of my coping mechanisms every 15th of June, the day of her departure. This is practically the third blog I wrote for her as today also marks her third death anniversary.

I noticed that the first two blogs I wrote for her were all about expressing my pain, and reading them from this day makes me relive those painful moments.

In her third year, I want to share something new. If there are moments I want to relive in my life, those are most probably the life lessons she shared with us, not the painful memories that broke my heart.

It’s time that I allow myself to be free from pain and find joy in knowing that my mom is already in a better place.

As we all know, moms have the best life lessons in the world. All the advice they shared with us came from their own hearts that we never heard from anyone before because they were all based on their experiences. 

I think the first teacher we had was our moms. They taught us to talk, to crawl, to walk, to eat, etc. As we grow up, they never stop teaching. They will always be there to guide us every step of the way, not to teach us how to live our lives, but to give us life lessons that we can use in our paths.

If you have a mom like this, you’re a lucky individual. If you don’t, I see you. I understand that not everyone has become blessed from having a great mom and some have not experienced having a mom. If this blog already sent discomfort to you, it’s okay if you stop reading this, but know that I am sending love your way.

Aside from the memories my mom left me with, her life lessons also became my companion when I feel distress and close to giving up. 

She surely gave me a lot of life lessons, but I only remember a few, those that really sent a massive impact to me and my siblings. She didn’t just also give it to us out of nowhere, there’s a story behind those lessons which I will also be sharing with you. 

(All of these life lessons were translated from English, but were originally told using a Tagalog language.)

You can find joy in exhaustion if you enjoy what you’re doing.

When my mom got sick, all of the household chores were divided between us and I happened to be tasked with the laundry.

Doing the laundry is the most tiring job among all the household chores, a lot of times I really felt exhausted that I have thought of not doing it anymore. What only kept me going is the fact that no one will do it but me and household chores are already part of our daily lives... meaning, it’s endless.

I didn’t complain about the laundry, didn’t even tell my mom I was already tired, but she knew it. That’s where she went to me as I was done hanging the clothes and told me these lines, “You can find joy in exhaustion if you enjoy what you’re doing.”

There is nothing to enjoy from doing the laundry, but I enjoyed doing it for my mom. Weird but gradually, every time I wash a dozen clothes, there’s a satisfaction that follows which makes me say, “Finally, I’m done! Can finally rest.”

And, somehow, what my mom said makes sense now. Exhaustion is there, but you can find joy in it if you enjoy what you’re doing.

Opportunistic people defeat intelligent people. 

My mom always taught us to be opportunistic in life. Our grades and degrees wonʼt define our future. A person can be intelligent, but if she isnʼt an opportunist, her grades will mean nothing. 

This life lesson was inspired by my uncle who owns a private tertiary school and has a doctorate degree. My mom told us that our uncle wasnʼt part of honorable mentions back in the day. He doesnʼt have nice grades yet he became the owner of a private tertiary school in the future, all because he is an opportunist.

Life is full of opportunities if you seek them rather than waiting for the opportunities to seek you.

If you can do it now, donʼt wait for later. 

Every kid will agree to this, our parents will never stop nagging us from a task we keep saying “later” to. One time, my mom asked me to do a certain task for her, but as I was still too lazy to move and get up, I kept on saying, “later.”

She let out a deep exasperated sigh, as if she is already tired of hearing that “later” from me. She scolded me using this line, “If you can do it now, donʼt wait for later.”

This life lesson has contributed a lot to building up my self-discipline. One of my toxic traits is prolonging a task that I can finish right away, just because Iʼm lazy. 

If we wait for later instead of doing it now… we are only wasting our time. 

Riding along is different from faking an attitude. 

There are moments in our lives where we will encounter scenarios that will make us ride along to people we donʼt really like hanging out with. Itʼs not to show a fake attitude, it is to show respect and manners.

As a real estate broker, my mom needs to interact with different clients every single day. Even if she doesnʼt want their attitudes, even if they are gossipers, even if they are ill-tempered, she needs to ride along and continue being professional to show respect and manners.

I learned from my mom that we will encounter people whose attitudes wonʼt please us and it is not our job to point it out, it is theirs to notice. To ride along with them is not meant to fake our attitude, but to only show respect and manners.

The important part in riding along is knowing when to walk out when we feel disrespected. We need to create boundaries and to draw the lines. 

Be grateful for the things you have.

We went through a lot as a family. When I was a kid, I remember a time where we had nothing to eat but only rice and soy sauce. This scenario inspired my mom to work harder to give us a better life, but first, she taught us to be grateful and appreciative for the food on the table as long as we have something to feed in our stomach.

I learned from my mom to be grateful for the things I have while I work on the things I don’t have. Being grateful for the little things leads us to appreciating the bigger things and to not take it for granted. 

Choose to end your pain instead of prolonging it.

I go by the saying, “Save the best for last.” This is my most favorite life lesson I heard from my mom and there’s a story behind it. Who would’ve thought that it’s all because of my toothache?

At the age of eleven, I had my first tooth extraction due to my decayed tooth. Before it happened, I endured the pain of my toothache every single day. It has even come to a point where I cried endlessly while pinching my cheek. I couldn’t sleep at night with how painful it was, so I always went to my mom to sleep beside her and be comforted.

I refuse to go to the dentist. I am afraid of the injections. I’d rather endure this ache than go to the dentist and have a tooth extraction which is way more painful. 

But, in the end… I agreed to have it removed. I was convinced by my mom’s words to choose the painful yet quickest way to end my pain than to endlessly endure it every single day.

Acknowledging what hurts us gives a refreshing feeling hereafter.

These six life lessons I listed helped me become a better person. Even if my mom isn’t around anymore, her words and advice will remain. I hold them close to my heart, treating them as my most treasured memory. These lessons guided me throughout my life despite my mom not being here.

Through this blog, I wanted to present something that can make my mom be remembered in ways I can. I believe that deceased people deserve to be remembered by the good things they have done and only those who are still alive can do that.

The pain of losing her may be gone, but my longing for her will never be. I will still seek for her presence like a lost child who needs accompaniment.

Losing someone is longing for their presence, surely one of the inevitable things we must face in this world, but we can rest in the fact that they’re in a better place now wherein pain isn’t present.

One time, I asked my mom, “Where do our souls go after death?”

Nobody really knows, but there’s a small voice inside my head that she’d answer, “In Heaven.”

But she didn’t…

“Our souls stay in the heart of our loved ones,” then she pointed to my heart. “That’s where they’ll live after death.”

Because our love for them became their home. 

Yours Truly,

Clar ♡