Overcoming Insecurities

 

 

Having insecurities is having what seems to be a constant battle within yourself. You wanted to feel good about your body, but there is this demon inside you which says you’re not doing good enough. It was suffocating. Day by day, it intoxicates our thoughts. It’s like a poison that we wanted to let out from our body.

We will be in a constant fight with our insecurities if we continue to be in a battle without weapons to protect us from the attacks. Don’t let insecurities defeat your self-esteem and confidence. You can fight it off by using weapons instead of letting it kill you.

Overcoming insecurities is what I think most people suffer from, some are even locked by this without knowing the way out, I am hoping this blog will serve as your key. 

 

I am not claiming to be an expert in this certain topic, but I made a list to help everyone fight off their insecurities. I understand if this won’t work for anyone, we have different ways of acknowledging our insecurities, but know that I am with you as you battle with it. You are not alone. 

 

We are not born with insecurities, they grow inside us as we also grow old and explore the world outside. We start to develop insecurities which cannot be avoided in the modern world where people will expect us to be perfect and flawless which is why I think the biggest factor that contributes to our insecurities is obviously the “society.”

 

The first thing we need to do is...

 

1. Accept differences.

 

Overcoming insecurities comes with acceptance that not all people are the same in every aspect, we are different in terms of our bodies and looks. There are body features that others have, but we don’t and there are also body features that we have, but others don’t. Not everyone has a slender body, nice curves, toned muscles, etc. 

We need to accept the fact that we are different from one another.

 

Along with accepting differences, we must also accept our flaws. By the moment we accept our flaws is also the moment we learn to truly embrace our insecurities. Make yourself at peace by accepting that there are things you can’t have, but this will make you appreciate the things you do have.

 

2. Don’t seek anyone’s validation.

 

Receiving validation makes us feel good about ourselves that we honestly start to rely on it. If we do not receive anything, we start to feel like there’s something wrong with us. If we seek validation from someone and we don’t get to receive the words we wanted to hear, it weighs us down. If we have a new hairstyle or new outfits to try, we often ask our friends what we look like. 

If they tell us to change our hairstyle because it doesn’t look good on us, it’s what their eyes tell them, but what do you feel about having that hairstyle? 

Don’t seek anyone’s validation and make it the basis of your beauty.

If you want that hairstyle, have it. If you like that outfit, wear it. If you like that kind of make-up, apply it. It’s your body, you are allowed to do whatever you please regardless of what the society thinks or the people around you. Wear whichever makes you feel comfortable. The only validation that matters is yours.

 

3. Daily affirmation.

 

This one is very important. Practice staring at yourself in the mirror and admire your own beauty. Make this as a routine until you get used to telling yourself that you’re beautiful, great, amazing, and all the good adjectives you’d like to describe yourself. So, when people tell you otherwise, it would appear as a lie. 

How you see yourself matters more than how other people see you.

 

This daily affirmation works, it will help you appreciate every bit of yourself that others failed to do. It will also help you feel good about yourself by recognizing your own beauty, even your flaws.

 

4. Don’t conform to society's standards.

 

This just means one thing: be your own standard. Society makes a person’s insecurities even worse by telling them how they should be. We are not obliged to follow the beauty standards they have set. We are not obliged to fit in. Live simply, exist as you please, ignore the standard. 

Conforming to society's standards makes us less of who we are. 

Some people are so focused on pleasing society that they forget to please themselves. We don’t have to follow their standard if we can be our own standard.

 

5. Do something that makes you feel confident about your body.

 

I think this one’s my favorite. I have a lot of body insecurities and by doing things that make me feel confident about my body helped me overcome those. I am insecure with my thigh gap, so I refuse to wear jeans all the time which makes my thigh gaps visible. I alter it with skirts or dresses. I am also insecure with my teeth gap, everytime I take a selfie, I usually don’t show my teeth.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I accept and fully embrace my flaws, but there is also nothing wrong with doing things that make you feel confident about your body. 

If you are comfortable doing these things because it will make you feel less insecure, do so. 

There will come a day that you don’t have to do all these and you will feel confident to show off your flaws without the need of hiding it. Make it your goal, but let’s take it one step at a time until we are ready to come out of our comfort zone. As of now, do something that makes you feel confident about your body.

 

6. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself.

 

Aside from society, one of the biggest factors that develops our insecurities is our environment. If we belong in an environment that likes to point out every flaw we have, we are in an unhealthy and toxic environment. You already know the existence of your flaws, there is no need for someone pointing it out. 

Cut off yourself from these people and leave this kind of environment if they will only make you less good about yourself. 

Be in an environment that ignores your flaws and treats it as a normal feature you have. Be in an environment where you can confidently flaunt your body without receiving judgements. 

 

7. Love yourself.

 

You may have heard this phrase countless times, but this is the most important way of overcoming insecurities; love yourself. The first step of accepting every inch of our body, even those parts we feel insecure of is loving our own selves. When we learn to fully love ourselves, no one’s going to make us feel hurt by unloving the parts of us we learned to love. 

Admire your flaws, they deserve to be appreciated by their owner.

 

The road to overcoming insecurities is not linear. There will be days where you will still be devoured by it as you try to get away. Believe me, I know the feeling. Insecurities happen to everyone. Even the person you think is already perfect has hidden insecurities. If you think that you can no longer get away from it, you’re wrong. There are several ways we can fight off our insecurities, my list can be set as an example.

 

You can write down the list I made on a piece of paper or you can type it down on your notepad, so when your insecurities start to creep in, you can remind yourself with these things. 

Before you go on with your day, do remember that you’re amazing and great, don’t allow anyone to take this truth away from you.

 

Yours truly,

 

Clar ♡