If you’ve been cheated on, this letter is for you

 

Dear you,

I know that you’ve been hurt and been put into deep pain after that betrayal.

 

I’m sorry you had to go through that shit. 

You don’t deserve it, my love. The pain, the hurt, the betrayal, and the unfaithfulness. You don’t deserve all those.

This, I know, for sure. You deserve to be freed from all of it.

 

I know how hard it is to be in your situation. I don’t want this to be about me, but I’ve been there, too. Just so you know that I’ve experienced being there too. Believe me when I say that I can feel you. And I’m here for you. You are not going to battle this pain alone. I am sharing it with you. 

 

Let me begin this letter in telling you that…

 

You are enough. You are not lacking. You are everything someone could ever ask for. You are worthy. You are valuable. Don’t let their inability to see your value make you feel worthless.

 

See, here’s the thing. You can be the most beautiful person on Earth, the wealthiest, the brightest, or the most successful one, but if you end up dating a cheater, you can still be cheated. 

Honestly, nothing guarantees faithfulness. Even if you give all the love in the world to that someone, if they choose to be unfaithful, oh dear, they will.

You can give everything to a person yet it will never be enough, if they cannot be satisfied. They will always choose to look for more. They are never content with what they have. And this does not mean, you are not giving enough. In fact, you are giving too much. 

Don’t take the responsibility of filling their cup while yours gets drained.

The problem is always in them, not in you. You are the victim of betrayal here.

They wasted such a pure and genuine soul for a temporary pleasure. They traded the long term commitment to something that won’t last. They chose to hurt and betray you after everything you’ve done.

 

See? The problem is in them. It is never you.

Some people still wanted to fix the relationship even after being cheated, believing that they can fix the person. If you are one of them, I’m going to give you a headstart: it won’t work. Don’t waste your time trying to make it work, because it won’t.

You can’t fix someone beyond repair. In the end, you are the one that will just end up being broken. It is never your responsibility to fix someone. Leave it to them and save your peace. You already have a lot on your plate.

 

If you believe that they will still change… well, maybe they will. The question is, are you willing to risk your life for that maybe?

Even though they change, what they did to you won’t change. How they betrayed you will still be the same. They may change, but the pain they’ve put you through won’t change. 

Don’t put yourself in a situation where you have to sacrifice days, weeks, months, or even years of your life, waiting for someone to change if you can just leave the situation and rather choose to change your life.

 

Lastly, if you still wanted to accept them in your life in the name of love, it’s your choice. But here’s a friendly advice I’d really want you to take: never go back to what hurt you.

 

Don’t make love as an excuse to re-enter a toxic relationship that you had the chance to escape from. 

Here’s the thing about cheating: it’s not a mistake, but a choice. They had the opportunity to avoid the circumstances yet they still continued it, anyway, even at the expense of hurting you.

 

They knew it would hurt you yet they still did it, anyway, believing that you would still accept them. I hate to break this to you, but darling, they are only taking advantage of your love. Some people only loves us because we love them that they use it for their advantage. They abuse your love by using it against you. In the end, you drain yourself, trying to fill them.

 

Maybe, you’re in a tight position right now, or maybe you are facing a dilemma whether to forgive them or not. I understand, but forgiving someone doesn’t mean getting back to them or befriending them or accepting them again in your life.

 

Forgiving means not holding their sin against them. Forgiveness is acceptance that they’ve done you wrong, so in return, you must release them as the consequence of their action. 

In this lifetime, we have to understand that someone can stay in our hearts, but not in our lives.

 

If you’ve already taken the giant leap and courage to let go of your abuser, I hope you get to be proud of yourself. 

 

I know how it takes a lot of courage to let go of someone you really wanted to keep in your life. You did the bravest thing out there. Be proud of the way you choose yourself over them.

And, you know what? You are better off without them. You don’t need someone that betrayed you. You can do this life without them.

 

You may not feel it right now, but someday, you will. The peace. It will be so worth it, that you’d thank your past self for this decision.

 

Behind that bravery, I know there hides a pain or an ache. It’s okay. It’s valid. Here’s an assurance for you, it may hurt so much right now… but it will hurt less, day by day. It will get better. You will get better. One day at a time.

 

Moving on is not easy, but let’s start on the first step: not going back.

 

Honor your bravery to walk away by not going back. Keep moving forward. You wouldn’t even notice how far you’ve reached. 

Don’t stay stuck in the same place that hurt you, the pain will only remain present in your life. I hope you continue to choose to keep a step forward, even if it hurts and even if there’s a temptation to go back. It’s just the devil, not wanting you to go on with your journey. Don’t listen to it. 

God will be with you in the path you’re taking. Just always choose to focus on that path and He will meet you where you are. He doesn’t want you to go back on a bad situation He had already saved you from because there’s a much better place He prepared for you.

To be able to go there, you have to leave the place you’ve been stuck on and go to the path He prepared for you. You belong there, beloved. Leave your painful past behind, a beautiful future is waiting for you. 

“There is a wonderful joy ahead of you even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.” 

- 1 Peter 1:6 -